Feeling Blue
Last Saturday & this morning I went to help out the Fall TNT group by manning a few water stops. It was the first time I'd been back with the group since July 22. While it was so great to hang out with the gang again, it's just not the same as being out there with them. It made me very depressed.
I miss running. I miss it A LOT.
I sat there & watched all those people out there running & it just made my heart sink. With the start of marathon season, the city was packed with runners & I wanted SO badly to be out there with them. If you'd told me 2 years ago that I'd be feeling this way about running, I'd have said you were a f'ing loon. But here I am.
I HATE that I'm in this situation & I HATE knowing that the longer I'm away from it all, the harder it's going to be to get back into it. I made so much progress over the last year & now it's all gone to shit. I'm losing muscle tone & gaining weight & I'm angry a lot more than I used to be. I guess I never realized how much running helped calm & center me. It was a great outlet for my anger & frustrations & now that I don't have that any more, the feelings are intensifying.
The good news is that I'm getting better every single day. But for me it's not enough. My doctor keeps telling me "baby steps, Erin. Baby steps."
Fuck baby steps! I want to run dammit!!!! >:(
posted by Erin @ 4:15 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
You will get there!! I swear!! But like the doctor says - Baby Steps.
Keep up with the pool walking, that should help a little. And be thankful you are not in this heat!
Erin, I sooo feel for you. That's exactly how I felt when I needed ankle surgery. You'll get through this. It's going to be hard but you can do it.
ditto Vic- it was all I could do to help with the waterstops b/c it would make me sad and grumpy b/c I couldn't run. It's tougth, but try to hang in there.
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