How I broke my back 2-3 times in 21 years

This is mainly for Jill, since I started the story the other day at breakfast & never got around to finishing it, but who knows, the rest of y'all may get a kick out of it. Here is how I broke my back:

First time: I was 14 & it was 4th of July weekend. My parents were in Hawaii on vacation & I was staying at a friend's house (2 sisters, 1 & 3 years older than me). We were sneaking out in the middle of the night to go to a party at the oldest sister's boyfriend's house (her parents didn't approve of the boyfriend). Sneaking out involved climbing out a 2nd story window, then onto the roof below, then climbing down the tree next to the roof. I missed the tree & fell 2 stories, landing on my back. Hurt like a motherfucker! I remember the wind being completely knocked out of me & according to my friends, I was moaning very loudly (ya think?). I told them I thought I may have broken my back, but they said if I had, I'd be either dead or paralyzed. (Sounded right at the time) My friends carried me to the car, drove to the party (most painful car ride of my life!), loaded me up on aspirin & left me in a bed while they went downstairs & played quarters. I was in a shitload of pain (it hurt to breathe) & I cried. We got back to my friend's house around 5:00 am & I remember the only way I could sleep was on the floor with my legs up on the bed, & even then it was excruciating.

But still I figured I couldn't possibly have broken my back. So I went about my regular daily routine (which included carrying my rabbit's large cage down a flight of stares to clean it outside, then fill it up with new wood shavings & carry it back upstairs). But the pain never really subsided so after about 2 days, I told my brother Pete (who was home from college for the summer) that I had slipped & fallen a few days before & thought I may have really hurt my back. We called my parents in Hawaii to tell them & they said to make an appt. at the ortho for the day after they got home, which was about a week after the fall. My dad had hurt his foot in Hawaii & needed to see the ortho as well so we went together. After the x-rays, the dr. calling my dad into my exam room & told us that I had crushed 3 of my lower vertebrae & had compressed the discs. I still remember looking at the xrays & seeing all these tiny cracks all over the place. He said it was a miracle that I hadn't done any additional permanent damage in waiting so long to see a doctor. I spent the rest of the summer in a brace, laying flat on my back (I was only allowed to sit or stand for 15 minutes a day), then had 3-4 months of physical therapy. Good times. ;-)

To this day my parents don't know how I really broke it. I told them I was running thru the kitchen, slipped on a wet spot, feet went up from under me & BAM! Flat on my back. That lie came back to bite me in the ass later that winter. I was almost completely healed & running around like normal. Phone rang. I ran to answer it. I was wearing socks. Unfortunately my mom had been spray waxing the furniture that day & some of the wax had dripped onto the linoleum floor in the kitchen. I'm sure you can guess what happened next. Yup. I slipped, jacked up my back again & was back in PT for another month. Karma, baby. Of course it gave my original story more credibility. :)

2nd time: About 7 or 8 years ago, I was picking my dog, Moe up at my mom's. He was SO excited to see me that he jumped up on me & knocked me on my ass onto the hard terra-cotta tile floor (think Dino & Fred Flintstone & that's about you get). That was enough to snap the tip of my tail bone right off. Again... good times. The bone fragment is still in there.

Those are the 2 "official" breaks. I say "official" because they are actually documented by a doctor visit & xrays. However, I suspect that I actually broke it 3 times... the first time being when I was 12:

I was being a total brat & was roller skating at top speeds in the house (against my mom's wishes) & when I went from the carpeted hallway onto the tile floor of the kitchen, my feet completely went out from under me & I landed on my back. HARD. My mom thought I was faking (remember, she was pissed at me for disobeying her in the 1st place & I'd been a brat all day) & refused to help me up. I laid there all thru dinner, not able to get up, in terrible pain, my mom still thinking I was faking. After dinner she realized I wasn't faking & helped me to the couch. Again, we figured if I broke my back, I'd be paralyzed or dead, so she never took me to the dr. I missed about a week of school & remember going back to gym class & doing somersaults & hearing my back crackling. It was painful, but I never figured until years later that maybe, just maybe, I broke my back during that fall.

Is it any wonder why I'm having so many problems today?