Yesterday I had the best run ever. I have no idea how it happened. The night before I was in a MAJOR funk over things that had been going on in my personal life & I was so upset that I eventually cried myself to sleep. I kept waking up, tossing & turning, never finding that comfortable spot on the bed. I think I
maybe slept about 3-4 hours total.
When my alarm went off at 4:45, I had such dread. I did NOT want to get up & I most certain did NOT want to run. But I knew I'd promised certain people I would be at the park, "bright" & early & I knew I couldn't let them down, so I forced myself out of bed. I could barely think straight & was very glad I'd laid out all my stuff the night before. (I finally learned that my brain doesn't function early in the morning!) I tried to eat, but every bite tasted like cardboard to me & I just couldn't do it. I only had a few bites of a power bar before I thought I would barf. The only thing I could stomach was water.
I slowly got dressed, grabbed my gear & a change of clothes (we were having breakfast w/ one of our honored patients after practice), got in my car & began my drive to Memorial Park.
Looking back, I think the drive over to the park was a sign.
As I turned onto Memorial Dr., I looked up & saw the biggest, most gorgeous full moon ever. It was low in the sky & pale yellow in color. It actually took my breath away & instantly I felt a bit of a surge run through my body. (You see, I have this
major love affair with the moon. It mesmerizes me. I can sit for hours just looking up at the moon in the sky & I will be the most content person you ever met.) When I got to the park, the coaches were setting everything up & a few of the walkers were getting ready to start (we start earlier than the runners because we're out there so much longer & the heat is MURDER). I quickly signed in & as I ran back to my car to put my new TNT Mentor jersey in my car, I heard my coach yelling for me to tell me the other walkers were leaving & I ran to catch up to them. I could see the moon glowing through the trees in the park & it gave me a sense of calm. I looked up & smiled.
We started out slow, w/ my friend Lydia & a newbie taking the lead ahead of me & another newbie. She was asking me questions about the marathon I ran & fundraising ideas, etc. I was fine with it for a while because I was still warming up, but after about 1/2 mile, I felt the need to speed up my pace & just be on my own. Lydia & the other girl were pretty far ahead of us & for whatever reason, it bugged me. For once, I wanted to be the one in the lead. The girl I was with could tell I needed to go faster, but she knew she wouldn't be able to keep up with me, so she said for me to go on, that she'd be fine. With that, I took off.
I didn't run at first, I just sped up my walking pace, really pumping my arms & taking short, fast steps. Before I knew it, I'd caught up to Lydia & the other girl, then I was passing them. I kept up my pace, trying to get away from them & their chatter. I just needed quiet. As soon the trail turned onto Memorial, the chatter was fading & I decided it was time to run. I went along at a nice steady pace... not too fast, really concentrating on my breathing. It was great! I ran only for about a minute or 2, but even when I stopped, it wasn't because I
had to. I just felt it was better for me to pace myself. Every couple minutes, I'd run again for a minute or 2, then walk. Before I knew it I was out of the park & on the streets. And the other girls were nowhere in sight. I was on such a high.
I am
NEVER the leader. I am
always the one in the very back, struggling to keep up. What was going on? Who was this person that had taken over my body? When I got to the water station (around mile 4) the girl manning the station was surprised that I was the 1st one there. I think she actually did a double-take. LOL! I grabbed a quick drink & didn't stop to chat. I just plugged right along. It wasn't until about mile 5 that the runners started to catch up with me, & even then, it was only a few. It just made me want to run even more.
I got the rose garden, turned around & made my way back to the water station. I ran into one of my coaches who seemed very surprised to see me so early on & doing so well. He asked me how I was doing. He said "you look like you're actually having fun!" I thought for a second, smiled really big & said "Actually, I am doing great! I feel great!" And for the 1st time,
I actually meant it!!! I got back to the water station & again I didn't dilly-dally. I grabbed some water, said a quick "hello" to the other runners there & was on my merry way again. When I turned the corner, I ran into a big pack of my teammates running in the opposite direction. They, too seemed surprised to see me already on my way back to the park & doing so well. Me!
A walker! It was a big rush seeing the looks on everyone's faces.
The only thing that slowed me down was the sun & the heat. By the time I was back on Memorial, the sun was over the trees & was beating down my back, but because of how well I was doing, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I got back to the park before the heat got
really bad.
I still couldn't believe how well I did. I have never run that much in my life! I was doing pretty much a 60/40 walk/run (as opposed to my usual 80/20 or 90/10). We'll see if this continues. I sure hope it does.
