By request

Long time no write, eh? My apologies. Let's see... what's been going on?

Well, the training is still going pretty well. After my back went out, I didn't work out for almost 2 weeks. It actually felt good to get back into the swing of things. My 1st practice back was a Tuesday & we happened to do speed trials. We went to the track & my coach had me do 1 lap as fast as I could. If it took me 3 minutes to do a lap, then I rested for 3 minutes. Then I'd do another lap as fast as I could, rested, & so on. After 4 reps my coach would look at her stop watch & go "hmmmmm." I asked her what was wrong & she said that my time was exactly the same each time. I thought that was bad... that maybe I was supposed to get faster. But she said "No! Normally people get slower with each rep. The fact that you're staying at the same pace is GREAT!" Last weekend I did almost 11 miles in about 2-1/2 hours. She was really impressed with that!

To me, it was so easy. Yes, I was tired afterwards, but it was nothing compared to previous weeks. I wanted to do 18 miles like the full marathoners, but my coach wouldn't let me. She doesn't want me to risk hurting my back again. I'm sort of glad she's like that, but at the same time, I want a challenge. The 1/2 marathon distances only get as high as about 11/12 miles. I can DO that... easily. The farthest I've gone before is 15 miles. Granted, I got hurt 2 days later, but I'm better now & want to see how much further I can go. I think that's why I liked the work-out 3 weeks ago so much. It had TONS of hills. I was tackling them like a mad woman. One of my teammates even commented to me on it later that week, saying how impressed he was at how well I took the hills. It was just such a nice change of pace, & it felt good to use those different muscles. (plus, Alaska is hilly, so I need the practice!)

I guess maybe I just feel like I should be working harder. 13.1 miles doesn't seem like that much any more. Yet 26.2 seems so far. I know if I were to attempt the full marathon in Alaska, that I might not finish, especially given the terrain & the altitude. Not finishing is NOT an option. My coach thinks I can finish the 13.1 in about 3 hours & wants me to try to improve on my time. But for whatever reason, I feel like I should be out there longer. Maybe it's because of who this is all for... for the cancer patients. I feel like I should be working harder & longer because they can't be out there themselves. Who knows?

All this working out may be for nothing anyway. I'm still about $2400 short of my fundraising goal. The official cut-off date for fundraising is this Tuesday. If I don't have all the money raised, I have to pay the difference out of my own pocket. If I can't pay the difference, I can't go to Alaska.

I don't have $2400.

Hell, I barely have $400.

I can only hope & pray that the rumors I've heard are true... that TNT & the LLS won't actually try to charge me the difference until a month after the race (which, if I paid any money out of pocket, would've been the deadline for re-imbursement.) If that's not the case, then I am fucked, & all this work will have been for nothing.

In the mean time, I am trying to plan a fundraiser at work. I already have permission from the Medical School & an official sponsor, but I still need to find the food. I'm hoping I can get this particular local BBQ place to donate the food, but I fear that when they hear the # of people attending (over 2oo) that they will say it's too many. But if I can get them do agree to donate the food, then I can make up to about $1200 in 1 day. It's still not everything I need, but it would definitely help.

*sigh*

I hate feeling like I'm going to fail.