Ups, downs, & lots of hills

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Life's been a bit crazy these days. Training is going ok. Still having a lot of ups & downs. My short runs have been great, averaging a pace of about 14:20 per mile, which makes me VERY happy. However, my last 2 long runs sucked. Last week was 10 miles. I made the mistake of not eating anything before the run (I wasn't feeling too good & the idea of eating anything made me want to puke). By the time I got to the park I was starving. Thankfully one of the mentors had some bananas so I grabbed a quick piece (barely 1/2 a banana) right before I started. I was doing pretty good for the 1st 8 miles, keeping up my power walk, going at a good, constant pace (about 15:00-15:15 per mile) Then I hit the wall. The sun started to come out & I felt the energy completely drain from my body. I strolled almost all of the last 2 miles. Once I got back to the park, I forced myself to race walk again. I felt so nauseous when I finished. I didn't feel human again until after I had a big breakfast.

Today was supposed to be 8 miles, but we also did LOTS of hills, so the total mileage ended up being a little more than 9. Thankfully there was no sun today, but good GAWD was it ever humid. The only breeze came from the cars driving by. Ugh! I felt like I was running in quicksand the entire time. I just couldn't seem to find my stride. My time was HORRIBLE! My pace was about 17 minutes per mile. *pukes* That is unacceptable!! I did better the week before when I was going on a practically empty stomach. I'm so mad at myself. Next week HAS to be better.

I worry that I won't be able to improve enough to do the full marathon. I don't want to go all the way to San Francisco & NOT do all 26.2 miles, but right now I worry that even with an early start, I won't make the time cut-off. I really need to step it up in my training & lose more weight. So far I've lost about 10 lbs. & about an inch from my waist & from my chest (I haven't measured any other parts). But it's just not good enough.

I hate it when I get down like this. But maybe it'll be the kick in the pants I need. We'll see.