Marathon Girl

Saturday, June 18:

RACE DAY!!!

The alarm went off at 5:00 am. I bolted straight up out of bed. A minute later, my roommate's cell phone alarm went off. I walked to the window & threw open the curtains to check out the weather.

It was raining.

Oy vey! I opened the window & stuck my hand out to see how cold it was & damn it was chilly. A few minutes later, the phone rang. It was my back-up wake-up call. "Good morning! The time is 5:15 am & the temperature outside is 58 degrees." Hmmm... 58, eh? That doesn't seem so bad. Maybe the rain will stop by the start of the race & it will be nice & cool for the marathon. Miranda turns on the tv & finds the weather channel.

High - 58 degrees with an 80% chance of rain throughout the entire day.

Just my luck. *heavy sigh*

I start to get dressed for the race. I decide to stick with the running shorts & just the tank top. I figured I get hot fast when I run, even when it's in the 30's, so I should be ok out there with 50 degree temps. I start to think how it was a good thing that I bought that 66¢ poncho at Academy before I left, cuz it looks like it will come in handy. I was so nervous about the race that I could barely eat. I managed to eat about 1/2 a bagel & 1/2 a power bar & some water. I put on my temporary TNT & state of Texas tatoos, filled my water bottles on my fuel belt & stuck my camera & cell phone in baggies & placed them in my little camera case that fit on my fuel belt, then headed downstairs to the lobby to meet the team. Everyone was there & rarin' to go. Coach Bill had brought about 50 trash bags for anyone that didn't have a poncho & everyone was making holes for their heads & arms. It was a pretty funny sight to see. People were snapping pictures left & right & getting all psyched for the race. All we needed was for the bus to show up to take us to the starting line. We'd been told that the bus would leave at 6:30 sharp & if we missed it, we were SOL. Well, it was about 6:40 & the bus still hadn't shown up. I looked at the bus schedule posted in the lobby & for our particular hotel, it said the shuttle was for the half marathon only. Now, the half marathon started at a completely different location than the full marathon, PLUS it started an hour later! I started to freak out & pointed this little fact out to the coaches. They assured me that at their meeting the previous night with the officials that they were informed that there would most certainly be a bus for the full marathon as well. Me? Well I wasn't too sure about that & I was freaking out. I wanted to be at the starting line & I wanted to be there NOW!!! The last thing I needed was to show up at the very last minute & not be prepared for the race. I was informed there was a "Plan B"... to walk 4 blocks to another bus stop & catch the 7:10 bus from there. Cuz ya know, it's just what I needed... an additional few blocks to walk before I walk 26.2 fucking miles in the rain!!!!! I tried to remain calm, but it wasn't working so well. Thankfully my friends kept me laughing. Finally the bus showed up around 6:50 & we were on our way. I was SO relieved.

The ride to the starting line took about 10 minutes. It was just a high school parking lot behind a bunch of trees. There were already tons of runners there & practically all of them were waiting in line at the port-a-potties. I'd already peed 4 times that morning (nerves I guess) & didn't feel like waiting in the long lines, so instead I just hung around with my teammates in the rain. The rain let up a for a little bit, which was nice. I was hoping it would stay that way, but unfortunately, that would not be the case. I quickly got in line to turn in my gear (change of clothes & flip flops for after the race) at the vans where it would be transported to the finish line, then went back to my teammates. We were all getting antsy & just wanted the race to start already!

At one point, a man came up to me & said "are you Erin Nies?" to which I replied "yes!" I immediately knew that it was my friend Jennifer's friend Tom from PA. She'd told me about him & we exchanged a quick email a few weeks before the race. Jen had told him to look for the girl with the purple hair at the race & sure enough, he found me. We shook hands, said a quick hello, exchanged a few pleasantries, wished each other luck in the race & then he was gone. I felt bad for not being more social, but I was just so nervous & wanted to get this thing started. Soon enough I'd get my wish.

The announcer told everyone it was time to start lining up at the starting line. I was SO excited. As everyone lined up, he said a few announcements, reunited old family members, & announced that a couple had just gotten engaged. Then the mayor came over the PA system to say a few words but I was too far back & he didn't speak very loud so I couldn't understand a single thing he said. The only thing I remember hearing him say was the words "Team in Training" so I just cheered. LOL! Then there was the singing of the national anthem. I couldn't tell if there were actual people singing it or if it was a recording, but whichever it was, it was a very nice a cappella rendition. It was about this time that I realized that I REALLY had to pee. But it was too late. The rain was starting up again & the next thing I knew, the gun went off to start the race. I was near the back & on the far right side & tried to walk fast, but everyone was just running past me, so my teammate Carissa & I decided to just make a run for it. We didn't go out too fast (we knew better than that) & we tried to stay out of everyone's way. The crowd was cheering us along & I could hear people yelling out my name (I knew it was a good idea to write it on the front of my jersey). It was SUCH a rush!!

We went down the driveway of the school parking lot & came around a corner to the main road. It was a sight to see... all those people ahead & behind me running. Everyone was smiling & laughing & so happy to be out there. It was a great feeling! Once I got out of a big crowd of people, I went back to walking. (I had to pee so bad that running was not really an option at the time. LOL!) We turned around a bend & headed toward a feeder road to the highway. Cars were speeding past us in the opposite direction & all honking & cheering us on. All I could think of was "it's 2 miles to the 1st water station & port-a-potties!" LOL! I walked as fast as I could & much to my dismay, the port-a-potties were in fact closer to mile 3. But once I was able to pee, I felt a million times better & was finally able to run. And run I did. It was a bit awkward with the poncho on, but there was no way I was going to take that thing off! It was keeping me somewhat warm & partially dry.

The 1st few miles seemed to fly by. Before I knew it, I was already to mile 5 & feeling great! The cold & rain weren't bothering me that much & we kept passing all these people & cars going in the opposite direction who were all honking & waving & cheering us on. I was still with a fairly big pack of people & felt confident I could make it all the way. It also helped that the scenery was absolutely beautiful, even with all the rain & clouds. One of the best views was between mile 5 & 6 where we ran down a road directly towards the mountains. The clouds were low & the top of the mountains were peeking out through the top of the clouds. It was breathtaking. We ran towards the base of the mountain & before I knew it, I was at mile 7 & the beginning of the oil tank trails... 9 miles of unpaved, gravel & dirt roads that went up the mountain. By the end of the day, this section would be nick-named "The Trail of Tears". It was horrible!! By the time I got to this section, it had been raining for hours, so all the dirt had turned to a big mud pit. The 1st part of the trail wasn't so bad because it was mostly gravel, but as the road narrowed & we went into the forest, the mud just got worse. I couldn't run in it at all. My shoes were sticking in it & I was sliding a bit with every step. It didn't help that from mile 7 to mile 14 was all uphill. It was exhausting!

Around mile 8 I ran into a girl named Noha from Southern California. We got to talking & agreed to stick together as much as we could. Neither one of us wanted to be alone (I'd lost Carissa by mile 3 or 4) & needed the assurance of another person to continue on in this mess. We kept talking to each other about anything & everything... anything to keep our minds off the misery we were experiencing. I found out that she was a recent cancer survivor & a psychologist as well as personal fitness trainer. She gave me all sorts of good advice, both about exercise & my personal life. For the amount of time we spent together talking, I'm sure she could've made a pretty penny in psychological services! LOL! She was a real inspiration. She also kept making sure I was taking in enough food & fluids. When she noticed my swollen hands, she gave me some of her salt pills, which gave me a nice burst of energy within a few minutes. I was SO grateful I'd run into her & she said the same of me. We kept each other going.

At mile 9 I was looking for my coach. She said she'd be there to run with us, but she was nowhere in sight. I kept plugging along with Noha, certain I'd see Ginny at some point. By mile 11 or 12, I was really starting to get tired. Although the scenery was still amazing, I was SO fucking sick of walking in the mud & on all those fucking rocks & we just wanted a fucking paved surface. At one point we came to a very narrow bridge over a raging stream. It was only wide enough for 1 person at a time to go over & when you stepped on it, it shook. I think it was about that point that Noha & I said "we aren't running a marathon, we're in a fucking adventure race!" It felt like we were in some sort of eco-challenge race. We were just waiting for the check-point where we were supposed to start kayaking down the white water rapids. Haha! At another creek crossing, the water was almost over the tiny bridge we had to cross, & at another section, there wasn't even a bridge.... just about a 2 foot mud section over a sort of broken pipe with water rushing out of it. We honestly just had to laugh about it.

The hardest part of the Trail of Tears, at least for me, was mile 13. The last part of it was up a steep hill in the thick mud. It was hard to keep our footing, but once we got to the top of the hill, we knew we were 1/2 way done with the race. Noha & I stopped to take each other's picture at the 13 mile marker. We said "you realize if we'd done the 1/2 marathon, we'd be done by now!" but we still had 13 more miles to go. At least from then on, it was pretty much all downhill from there. We still had to get up to mile 14, but after that, we started going back down the mountain. I think it was around there that we came to a clearing in the forest. When we looked to our right, we could see straight down the mountain. It was quite an amazing sight. If I had any function left in my fingers, I would have taken a picture, but I couldn't even bend my fingers, let alone manage to unzip my camera bag & take a picture. All I wanted to do was get the hell off that mountain & on to the paved roads again.

At around mile 16, I had to make a pit stop at the port-a-potties. Noha took that time to rest her foot. (poor girl had broken it 1/2 way through her training, then broke it AGAIN around mile 6 of the race! But that wasn't going to stop her from finishing the race.) As I was in the port-a-pottie, I started to hallucinate. The walls of the port-a-pottie were moving like waves in the ocean & when I looked straight ahead, it was like I was traveling through a tunnel. It was the FREAKIEST thing ever!!! I had to close my eyes & try to concentrate on getting my head clear. It took me a while to even get out of that damn port-a-pottie because my hands & mind were just not functioning. My bib # was falling off & I couldn't figure out how to open the damn safety pins to fix it. Eventually I got everything straightened out & was back on the trail. Thank GOD by then we were back on paved roads & it was all downhill! Noha & I were SO happy!! We were finally able to RUN again!!! And run we did. We wanted to make up for some of the time we lost on those mud trails. I can't tell you how good running felt to my legs & ass. (Walking for miles on end without switching it up to running every once in a while to use different muscles HURTS!!!) We didn't even care that the temperatures had dropped & it was raining harder. It just felt so good to finally run again!

By this point, we were also lonely. There was no one else in sight... just the 2 of us... & it was taking its toll. I was upset I never saw Ginny earlier on & I was worried that I'd never see her. I'd told her before that my biggest fear was doing this alone, without the support of my coach. That had happened to my friend who ran the San Diego marathon a few weeks earlier & it crushed her to be so alone out there. And there in Alaska, with the weather so bad, there were no spectators out there, especially this far into the race. I needed some sort of outside encouragement. I knew that Janie, one of the TNT staff members, said she'd be at mile 17, but I wasn't sure if she'd still be there by the time I got there. Noha & I rounded a bend & started going uphill again when we saw someone in the distance running towards us. It was raining pretty hard & it was hard to see who it was, but I swore it looked like she had a Texas flag jacket on. Sure enough, it was Janie. I was SO happy to see her. She gave me a big hug & told me that one of my teammates, Chatna (who had broken her toe days before the race) was waiting in the SUV at mile 17 (just around the bend) & that my coach Ginny was there, too. I can't tell you how happy I was to hear that. Soon enough we rounded the bend & there was Ginny, wrapped up in a giant brown garbage bag. (Janie had said that Ginny started getting hypothermia & the EMT's wanted to take her off the course, but she refused. Instead she got the garbage bag to warm up & stuck around to see me.) Ginny came running up to me with her arms extended inside the garbage bag & said "give me a big ole garbage bag hug!" It was so funny & exactly what I needed. I was told that Chatna got as far as 4 miles w/ her broken toe & wheel chair before she was forced off the course by the officials. I saw her in the truck & gave her a big ole smile as she took my picture. Then I ran over to her & gave her a big wet hug & told her how proud I was of her for at least trying. The small group of TNT staffers there at mile 17 had candy & potato chips, which I wolfed down as fast I could. (They were the best damn potato chips I've ever had!!!)

Ginny then started to run with us & told us her story of hypothermia & arguing with the EMT's. She refused to leave the course. She kept telling them "Erin is still out there & I WILL NOT abandon her!" I know how miserable she felt, but the fact that she stayed for me meant SOOOO much to me. I know if she hadn't been there that I would have quit. But she was there for me, & she was cheery & full of inspiration. She kept me laughing & kept telling me how great I was doing. It was exactly what I needed. I was abso-fucking-lutely miserable out there. My legs were still fairly strong, but I was soaked to the core & my feet & back were starting to ache SO badly. I wanted to quit so badly, but at the same time, I wanted to finish. I HAD to finish. Around mile 18-19 was the next most miserable area... a sidewalk on the side of the road with cars 7& trucks rushing by us at about 60 mph splashing puddles on us. The winds were blowing so hard that it hurt my face. I wanted to be off that sidewalk more than I wanted to be off the Trail of Tears. Hell, I just wanted to be off that damn course & back in my hotel room! But I refused to give up. With each mile I hurt more & more, but I was also that much closer to the finish line. By the time I reached mile 20 I figured there was no turning back... no matter what, I was going to finish. It was at that point that Noha was losing it. She was in SO much pain with her foot, but she refused to give up. She was on the verge of tears with every step, as was I. Eventually I just broke down & started crying. I stopped myself, but every time I reached another mile marker, I'd stop to stretch my back & cry again. This happened with every mile marker after that. I had never been more miserable nor more determined. And man oh MAN was I ever cranky. Around mile 20-21 I announced "from here on in, I will likely be the biggest bitch you've ever met & I will cuss like a sailor!" Ginny & Noha said "well go on sister! We don't mind!"

Gotta love those girls.

The one thing that made me smile at that point was seeing the moose on the corner of the parking lot between mile 20 & 21. He was just a yearling, no antlers, but HUGE. He was simply hanging out on the corner munching on some bushes. Noha decided that was a good time to pee, so I stumbled with my hands & fingers & managed to get my camera out to take a photo. It didn't come out too great, but I got it before he got spooked & ran into the forest. After that, I was immediately back to the "bite me!" stage. Nothing anyone said or did could make me smile or laugh. I was so fucking cold & was being swarmed by mosquitos & I was irritated by everyone. But I was still so incredibly glad to have Ginny still by my side. She was my rock. I honestly don't know what I'd have done without her.

At mile 23 I had to pee again. Noha kept on going for fear that if she stopped now, she'd never finish... & I didn't blame her. It was SO hard for me to get back up & start walking again, but Ginny helped by carrying my fuel belt & camera bag for me the rest of the way. It was a huge weight lifted off me. Not long after that, I started to get my 2nd wind. My pace picked up & I wasn't hurting as bad. I knew I was so close to finishing. Finally I got to mile 24.... not much further now. We were in a nice park area & eventually came around to this gorgeous lake area with winding sidewalks & birds everywhere. Then I saw it in the distance... mile marker 25. This was it. The last part... only 1.2 miles left to go. All the TNT staffers were at the mile marker with their cow bells & noise makers & were cheering me on. It was the most amazing feeling... these girls had been waiting for me in the rain for hours. I got goose bumps & started to cry. I looked over at them & some of them were starting to cry as well. One of them reached over & patted my shoulder. It was a great boost for me.

I was almost there. I was almost home.

Right after mile marker 25, there was a woman standing alone on the side of the road. She had a big sign saying she was a cancer survivor & thanking the runners for doing what they were doing. We thanked her for coming out to cheer us on & she said "no, thank YOU! I'm alive because of what you do!" Of course, I cried yet again, but I quickly composed myself. "There will be plenty of time for that at the finish line!" said Ginny.

Suddenly in the distance we saw Coach Bill. I yelled out "it's about fucking time!!! Where the fuck have you been?" (he was supposed to meet us miles ago) to which he responded that he'd gotten stuck on Insult Hill with a whole bunch of runners. (Insult Hill is a very steep hill at the very last mile of the race. Not exactly something you want after running 25 miles.) Every time he'd take one runner up the hill, he'd run into more runners on the way back, all of whom asked him to run up Insult Hill with them. He'd done it 11 times. I was going to be his 12th & last time up that hill. He told me how proud he was of me & that he was more proud of me than anyone else on the team. Of course, this made me cry. (LOL... what didn't make me cry?) He & Ginny & Ally (one of the TNT staffers) walked me up Insult Hill (which oddly enough, I loved! It felt so good to use different muscles again!) to the home stretch. Ally was crying for me too, saying she'd been thinking of me out there & how proud she was of me. It felt so good to be surrounded by people who cared so much about me.

Just before we turned into the parking lot of the track stadium, Ginny & I stripped ourselves of our plastic garments & prepared for that final run to the finish. She said "I know coaches aren't supposed to cross the finish line, but fuck it! I am taking you in girl!" I couldn't have been happier to hear that! We turned into the parking lot & there was Janie & the other TNT staffer girls waiting for me, cheering me on. Then I saw it.... mile marker 26. Again... I cried. Only .2 miles to go. I was home free.

All the barricades & banners were completely blown away by the storms so there was no regalia or even a finish line sign to greet me as I entered the stadium, but there was a line of TNT girls yelling, screaming, cheering & calling out my name. As we got to the track, Bill said that it should be just me & Ginny crossing that line, since we'd been together for so long. He gave me a hug & a kiss & said "it's all you girl. You've earned this!" Ginny & I got on the track & the girls started cheering louder. I could feel wave after wave of emotion flowing over me. As we got to the straight-away on the track, I said to Ginny "let's go!" & we started to run. We passed Bill & the girls on the sidelines & they were screaming so loud. I could see the end of the straight-away, & the end of the race. I had a quick panic & said to Ginny "the finish line IS at the end of this straight-away, right?" (the finish line sign had blown down earlier in the day in all the wind & storms) & she assured me that it was. I kept on running, counting down the steps to the end. My legs were starting to burn, but I wasn't going to stop until I reached the end. I heard the announcer come over the PA & say something, but I had no idea what it was (I'd later find out that he was announcing my name). I was just concentrating on that finish line. I saw the photographer in the distance & I smiled a big stupid smile as he took my picture. Then I crossed the finish line.

I did it. I finished the marathon. 26.2 miles. It took me over 8-1/2 hours to do it, but dammit... I did it!

Ginny turned to me & gave me the biggest hug. I couldn't hold back my emotions any longer & I broke out into the biggest tears. I could not stop crying. I wanted to just collapse into a ball & cry like a baby, but I kept walking... still crying like a baby, but walking.

I walked to the finisher's area where they told me they needed to take my timing chip off my shoe. I couldn't even bend over to untie my shoe, so a woman did it for me. I couldn't even lift up my leg onto the bench... she had to do that for me as well. Ginny was handing me glass after glass of water & I was leaning on this unknown woman, trying not to fall down. After she got my chip off my shoe, I walked over some official looking man in a suit who gave me my medal for completing the marathon, then I walked to the TNT tent where they gave me my official 26.2 pin. I was still crying. Eventually Ginny & I made our way to the tables where my bag full of clothes & flip flops was located. Ginny had to take my shoes & socks off for me & my feet were so swollen that they barely fit in my flip flops. I could barely walk. My entire body ached & my legs felt like they had turned to jello. It took every ounce of strength I had to walk. Ginny sat me down on a curb while she went to find out where the shuttle busses were. While she did that, I called my sister Sheila in New York. I ran this race in memory of her husband, David. I had his picture pinned to the back of my jersey during the entire race. He watched over me as I ran. I told her how I finished & everything I had been through. She told me how proud she was of me & then her son Christopher got on & yelled "CONGRATULATIONS!!!" I was trying so hard not to cry. Sheila got back on & said was in the middle of putting Christopher to bed, so we didn't speak long. We didn't need to. We both knew what the other felt without saying a word.

I'd been trying for so long to try to find the words to express what this race meant to me & I finally came to the conclusion that there just are no words. All I can say is that I finally felt like I made a difference in this world. I finally felt like I had a purpose. The feelings I felt when I finished this marathon were unlike any feelings I have ever felt in my life. I don't think I will ever feel that same way again. I may run other races for TNT, but none will ever be able to match up to this experience. It may have been the most miserable day of my life, but it was also the proudest & most surreal moment of my life. Everyone should feel this feeling at least once in their life. It's the most amazing feeling in the world. I feel privileged to have been able to have had such an experience. This is something I will never forget for as long as I live.