EEEEEEEEEEK!!!

Talk about not exactly flattering... here's a pic of me from the marathon. It was taken just before mile 17, right after the Trail of Tears. I had NO idea there was a photographer there. That's Janie to the left & Noha to the right. I was soaked to the bone & FREEZING!!! Check out all the mud on the back of my calves & shoes! (pictures courtesy of Farrar Photography)



In all, they took about 11 pics of me. Most are from the finish line. My favorite (well, if I don't think about how fat I look in the pic) is the last one of me hugging my coach. You can totally tell I'm bawling! It made me cry again when I looked at it. It was such an incredible moment in my life. I'll never forget it.

Click here to see the rest of the proofs.

Insomnia strikes again...

6 days of sleeping has taken it's toll. Now I can't seem to sleep at all. Well, since I can't sleep, I might as well blog, eh? Soooo... let's see.... I guess I should finish telling about my trip to Alaska. (This is gonna be another super long post, but this is mainly for my own memory, so feel free to skip it if you want.)

So I finished the marathon. I was exhausted! I have never been that tired in all my life. It was funny... I was able to walk & run 26.2 miles, but as soon as I finished & I sat down to take off my shoes & put on my flip flops & jacket, when I tried to stand up again, it was almost impossible. Every single part of my body hurt. Suddenly I could hardly walk. Every single step was painful & took every ounce of energy I had. While I stood in one spot, holding myself up with the help of a guard rail, Ginny went to find out where the busses back to the hotel were parked. I quickly called my parents to tell them I finished the race, but they weren't home!!! I left them a long winded, guilt-filled message. ("How dare you not be home when I finish my 1st marathon!!!") She finally found them & I slowly made my way to the parking lot. Unfortunately, none of the busses were going to our hotel. After some sweet talking, one of the drivers agreed to go off her route & droop us off at our hotel. She even lowered the ramp on the bus so I didn't have to walk up the 3 steps to get on. I told her she was my most favorite person on the planet. (LOL!) She even dropped us off right in front of my tower of the hotel so all I had to do was walk in the door & BOOM... I was at the elevators.

Ginny helped me to my room & left me to shower & recouperate. I was frozen to the core & could not stop shivering. I turned on the hot water in the shower & just sat myself down in the tub & let the steaming hot water fall all over me. I stayed in there for a good 45 minutes before I finally felt somewhat warm. I slowly got dressed in my jammies & collapsed on the bed. I slept for about 45 minutes before I woke up due to a leg cramp. I could have easily turned over & slept for the rest of the night, but I didn't want to miss all of the victory party. I earned that party dammit! So I slowly changed my clothes, put on a little makeup, & headed to the party. Unfortunately, the party was 4 blocks away & the hotel didn't offer a shuttle, so I had to fucking WALK the 4 blocks. How much did that suck? I was walking sooooooo slooooooowwww. Hell, I was even passed by a small pack of elderly couples.

When I finally made it to the party, the guy taking my ticket at the door said "Damn! You look tired!" I just looked at him & said "I am". I walked around trying to find my friends upstairs in the big party area (they room was blasting dance music & had flashing lights & lots of liquor stations) but had no luck at first. The music was WAAAAY too loud for me so I walked to the lobby where I ran into some of my teammates. They informed me that pretty much everyone was downstairs where it was much quieter, so we all headed down there. As soon as we got a table, I made my way to the buffet line where I piled my plate up with food. (when I finished the marathon, there was NO FOOD at the finish line!!!! It was all gone!!! I hadn't eaten anything all fucking day other than a little snack here & there at the aid stations, & I still had to wait until almost 8:00 PM to get some food!! How fucked up is that???) I scarfed down my food & about a gallon of water & talked & laughed with my teammates. We all retold our tales of horror from the marathon. It was great.

After about an hour or so, we decided to head to a bar down the street for some drinks. We stayed there for about another hour, then headed back to the hotel bar for a nightcap. I was starving again, so I ordered a pizza at the bar & ate the whole damn thing. I even topped it with salt!! (I was craving salt like you wouldn't believe!) Around 11, we decided to turn in for the night. Unfortunately, I had to pack first because we were checking out 1st thing in the morning before boarding a bus to Seward for our glacier/whale watching cruise. I didn't get to bed until about 1:00 AM (packing wasn't exactly a fast activity for me). I was in so much pain that I didn't sleep very well at all. I didn't even need the alarm to wake me up. I was up on my own by 5:30 (earlier than I wanted to be up, that's for sure).

When I got up, I could barely stand because my right knee hurt so much. I hobbled around as best as I could, got dressed, put on my make-up, gathered all my stuff & made my way to the lobby to wait for all the other TNT cruise-goers. I had a big baggie full of ice & I sat myself down on a big comfy chair in the lobby, propped my leg up & iced my knee for a good 45 minutes. It made a world of difference! I quickly went to the coffee shop & grabbed a muffin & some hot chocolate (yes... HOT chocolate! It was COLD outside!!) & then we boarded the bus to Seward.

It was about a 3 hour drive & we only stopped twice. Once to take pictures at the scenic overlook, & again for snacks & beverages. The drive was absolutely breath-taking! The closer we got the Seward, the more the clouds disappeared & the sun shined. Everywhere I looked, we were surrounded by the most beautiful mountains & glaciers. We saw moose, dall sheep, & bald eagles the whole way. Our bus driver was a hoot & a half & told us all sorts of great history of the area & stories of her life in Alaska. When we finally got to Seward, I was in awe of the beauty that surrounded me.

We were met by the Kanai Fjords tour guide who gave us our boarding passes for the boat. We quickly boarded the boat & claimed our seats. We had a bit of a wait before we shoved off, so I took advantage of my full cell phone signal & no roaming & called my dad to wish him a Happy Father's Day. I had never heard him sound more happy. He was gushing, telling me how incredibly proud he was of me. He said he thought of me all day & when he got home from dinner that night & heard my voice mail, he said he had tears in his eyes. He then told me "I am more proud of you & what you have done than I have ever been about anything that any of our other children have ever done in their lives!" I couldn't believe my ears. My father has never said anything like that to me. He then went on to say that he felt SO bad that he couldn't contribute more to my fundraising & said that he'd like to give me $150 to spend in any way I wished. I told him he didn't have to do that, but he said he wanted to. I just said "Daaaaaad..." & started to get all teary. He eventually said "OK. Fine. I'll save it for your next race." to which I agreed. (I know how tight things are with him these days & really didn't want him scrounging around for an extra $150 just for me to blow on something frivolous.) I've never heard my dad sound so happy. I could practically see him beaming with pride through the phone. It was a great feeling. We said good-by & "I love you" & hung up. By then it was time to get the cruise started.

My friends & I quickly posed for a few pics on the boat, then we took off. The air quickly got colder & we all broke out our sweatshirts, hats, jackets & gloves. The cruise was 6 hours long & simply amazing. We went all over the area, around the fjords, & towards the glaciers. The water was a bit rough, but I wasn't haven't any problems with sea-sickness (unlike several of my teammates). The weather was absolutely gorgeous, the air was crisp & cold, & the scenery was spectacular. We saw several smaller glaciers before we finally arrived at a dead end in front of a HUGE glacier. The water was full of ice bergs that had broken off the glacier. The captain shut the engines down & let us drift by the glacier. Suddenly we'd hear what sounded like a loud crack of thunder, then we'd see parts of the glacier collapse & crash to the icey water below. It was awesome!! We took tons of pictures & acted SO silly. We were convinced we had the power to make parts of the glacier fall by simply making "whale calls" & signing opera. (no, we weren't drunk!) It was so damn funny! (maybe you just had to be there.)

After about 30 minutes of drifting by the glacier, the captain turned the engines back on & we headed back out to the open sea in search of whales. In the distance we could see the spray from the blow holes of some humpback whales, so we headed in that direction. Since humpbacks are endangered, there's a law that says we had to stay at least 100 yards away from the whales (damn whales had a restraining order against us!) so it was a bit hard to see them at first, but eventually they moved a little closer to us. We came upon a mamma feeding her calf, which was pretty cool. After a few minutes, we headed in a different direction to where there was apparently a pod of Orca's (killer whales). Again, we couldn't go w/in 100 yards of them, but that didn't matter because they were swimming in our direction. There was about 5 or 6 & they were popping up everywhere. We'd 1st see their giant dorsal fin pop out of the water, then they'd blow water out their blow holes. It was hard to get photos of them because they moved so fast. Suddenly we noticed another one with a slumped dorsal fin (apparently due to stress... poor guy) that was swimming right towards us. It got closer to us than any other whale... so close that I could see the white markings on its side. It was SOOOO cool!!!! And then they were gone.

Eventually we started to head back to Seward, but not before stopping to see some sea lions basking in the sun on the side of a small mountain. The 1st thing we noticed was a bloody & beaten sea lion on the far side, still alive & struggling. It was very sad to see. Then we noticed the giant sea lion in the middle making all sorts of noise. Eventually he mounted one of the smaller female (well, I am assuming it was a female) sea lions & had himself a little "afternoon delight". It was hilarious!!! Oh dear GOD, the sounds that came out of this animal!! LOL!

Soon enough, we were back in Seward & ready to dock. We were greeted by some cute little otters floating around on their backs. After we docked, we boarded a shuttle bus to the train station (it was about a 1 minute ride) where we then boarded the train back to Anchorage. We had one of the fancy dome cars all to ourselves. It was fabulous. The lower level had huge, fully reclining seats with footrests & about 8 feet of leg room. This is where many people crashed for the 4 hour ride. The upper level was the glass domed section with tables & benches. This was where many people drank & played cards for the 4 hour ride. The only bad thing about our car was the fact that it was about 8 cars away from the bar/dining car. Thankfully we had 1 or 2 people that were willing to fetch us more beverages. It was great fun.

We arrived back in anchorage around 10:30. We were met by a limo bus (very cool!) that took us back to the hotel where we picked up our luggage from the concierge & then boarded another bus to the airport where we had a 12:50 am flight back to Houston. It wasn't until we got to the airport & I sat down on a solid, non-moving surface (ie: the seats in the terminal) that I started to feel "sea-sick". I felt like I was still on the boat & like we were still going over those 6 foot ocean swells. I hoped it wouldn't last long. Unfortunately, that would not be the case. About 30-45 minutes into the flight, after attempting & failing to get any sleep, I started to feel VERY ill. I was in a t-shirt, 2 sweatshirts, & wrapped in a blanket, yet I was freezing! My entire body was shaking & my teeth were chattering so hard that they hurt. My calves were also starting to cramp up, so I stood up & walked to the back of the plane where I went into the bathroom. I was shaking even harder than before & sweating at the same time & thought I was gonna barf (I didn't). I had to stop myself from having a panic attack right there in that tiny bathroom. It was so hard because I kept thinking to myself "oh GOD! How am I going to make it another 8 hours on this fucking plane???" & I started to cry. I quickly stopped myself & pulled myself together & went back to my seat. To make matters worse, there was a screaming baby across the aisle from me. Lovely!

By the time we landed in Seattle I was completely miserable. My seat mate (& TNT teammate) woke up & said I looked horrible. She got me up & walking around the plane as we waited the hour to take off again. When we finally took off again, they served breakfast. Melissa convinced me to eat some & it did help me feel a little better. The screaming baby was off the plane & I was finally able to get some sleep. I slept for almost the whole flight back to Houston & by the time we landed, I was finally warm enough to take off 1 of my sweatshirts. I was so glad to be home.

My mom met me in baggage claim. As soon as she hugged me I started to cry... both because I was so glad to see her & hear her say how proud she was of me, but also because I felt so sick & I finally had my mommy. (haha) She helped me get my luggage & took me back to her place where I picked up my dog Moe & had a little snack. I got back to my apt around 3:00 (I almost fell asleep at least a dozen times on the drive back to my apt. It was pretty scary!) & crashed on the couch around 3:30. I didn't wake up until about 9:30, then I went to bed around 11 or 12 & slept til about 7 or 8. I was miserably sick & then proceeded to sleep for the next 6 days. I had originally planned on going back to work that Thursday, but I was too sick so I didn't go in at all that week.

I'm still sick, but SO much better than I was last week. I just have a bit of a nagging cough that doesn't seem to want to go away & a bit of a sore throat (mainly from all the coughing). Hopefully I'll be 100% by Friday, when the family starts arriving for the big family reunion this weekend. I definitely don't want to be sick around the little ones, especially since my baby nephew, Derek will be there. I don't want to get anyone else sick & ruin their time here.

Picture time!

Here are a few of my favorite pictures from Alaska:



Adrienne, me & Coach Ginny in the hotel lobby just before the marathon



Mile 7 of the marathon... aka the start of The Trail of Tears



Mount Marathon - Seward, Alaska



Surprise Glacier - Seward, Alaska

To see all of my pictures from the trip, click here!

Marathon Girl

Saturday, June 18:

RACE DAY!!!

The alarm went off at 5:00 am. I bolted straight up out of bed. A minute later, my roommate's cell phone alarm went off. I walked to the window & threw open the curtains to check out the weather.

It was raining.

Oy vey! I opened the window & stuck my hand out to see how cold it was & damn it was chilly. A few minutes later, the phone rang. It was my back-up wake-up call. "Good morning! The time is 5:15 am & the temperature outside is 58 degrees." Hmmm... 58, eh? That doesn't seem so bad. Maybe the rain will stop by the start of the race & it will be nice & cool for the marathon. Miranda turns on the tv & finds the weather channel.

High - 58 degrees with an 80% chance of rain throughout the entire day.

Just my luck. *heavy sigh*

I start to get dressed for the race. I decide to stick with the running shorts & just the tank top. I figured I get hot fast when I run, even when it's in the 30's, so I should be ok out there with 50 degree temps. I start to think how it was a good thing that I bought that 66¢ poncho at Academy before I left, cuz it looks like it will come in handy. I was so nervous about the race that I could barely eat. I managed to eat about 1/2 a bagel & 1/2 a power bar & some water. I put on my temporary TNT & state of Texas tatoos, filled my water bottles on my fuel belt & stuck my camera & cell phone in baggies & placed them in my little camera case that fit on my fuel belt, then headed downstairs to the lobby to meet the team. Everyone was there & rarin' to go. Coach Bill had brought about 50 trash bags for anyone that didn't have a poncho & everyone was making holes for their heads & arms. It was a pretty funny sight to see. People were snapping pictures left & right & getting all psyched for the race. All we needed was for the bus to show up to take us to the starting line. We'd been told that the bus would leave at 6:30 sharp & if we missed it, we were SOL. Well, it was about 6:40 & the bus still hadn't shown up. I looked at the bus schedule posted in the lobby & for our particular hotel, it said the shuttle was for the half marathon only. Now, the half marathon started at a completely different location than the full marathon, PLUS it started an hour later! I started to freak out & pointed this little fact out to the coaches. They assured me that at their meeting the previous night with the officials that they were informed that there would most certainly be a bus for the full marathon as well. Me? Well I wasn't too sure about that & I was freaking out. I wanted to be at the starting line & I wanted to be there NOW!!! The last thing I needed was to show up at the very last minute & not be prepared for the race. I was informed there was a "Plan B"... to walk 4 blocks to another bus stop & catch the 7:10 bus from there. Cuz ya know, it's just what I needed... an additional few blocks to walk before I walk 26.2 fucking miles in the rain!!!!! I tried to remain calm, but it wasn't working so well. Thankfully my friends kept me laughing. Finally the bus showed up around 6:50 & we were on our way. I was SO relieved.

The ride to the starting line took about 10 minutes. It was just a high school parking lot behind a bunch of trees. There were already tons of runners there & practically all of them were waiting in line at the port-a-potties. I'd already peed 4 times that morning (nerves I guess) & didn't feel like waiting in the long lines, so instead I just hung around with my teammates in the rain. The rain let up a for a little bit, which was nice. I was hoping it would stay that way, but unfortunately, that would not be the case. I quickly got in line to turn in my gear (change of clothes & flip flops for after the race) at the vans where it would be transported to the finish line, then went back to my teammates. We were all getting antsy & just wanted the race to start already!

At one point, a man came up to me & said "are you Erin Nies?" to which I replied "yes!" I immediately knew that it was my friend Jennifer's friend Tom from PA. She'd told me about him & we exchanged a quick email a few weeks before the race. Jen had told him to look for the girl with the purple hair at the race & sure enough, he found me. We shook hands, said a quick hello, exchanged a few pleasantries, wished each other luck in the race & then he was gone. I felt bad for not being more social, but I was just so nervous & wanted to get this thing started. Soon enough I'd get my wish.

The announcer told everyone it was time to start lining up at the starting line. I was SO excited. As everyone lined up, he said a few announcements, reunited old family members, & announced that a couple had just gotten engaged. Then the mayor came over the PA system to say a few words but I was too far back & he didn't speak very loud so I couldn't understand a single thing he said. The only thing I remember hearing him say was the words "Team in Training" so I just cheered. LOL! Then there was the singing of the national anthem. I couldn't tell if there were actual people singing it or if it was a recording, but whichever it was, it was a very nice a cappella rendition. It was about this time that I realized that I REALLY had to pee. But it was too late. The rain was starting up again & the next thing I knew, the gun went off to start the race. I was near the back & on the far right side & tried to walk fast, but everyone was just running past me, so my teammate Carissa & I decided to just make a run for it. We didn't go out too fast (we knew better than that) & we tried to stay out of everyone's way. The crowd was cheering us along & I could hear people yelling out my name (I knew it was a good idea to write it on the front of my jersey). It was SUCH a rush!!

We went down the driveway of the school parking lot & came around a corner to the main road. It was a sight to see... all those people ahead & behind me running. Everyone was smiling & laughing & so happy to be out there. It was a great feeling! Once I got out of a big crowd of people, I went back to walking. (I had to pee so bad that running was not really an option at the time. LOL!) We turned around a bend & headed toward a feeder road to the highway. Cars were speeding past us in the opposite direction & all honking & cheering us on. All I could think of was "it's 2 miles to the 1st water station & port-a-potties!" LOL! I walked as fast as I could & much to my dismay, the port-a-potties were in fact closer to mile 3. But once I was able to pee, I felt a million times better & was finally able to run. And run I did. It was a bit awkward with the poncho on, but there was no way I was going to take that thing off! It was keeping me somewhat warm & partially dry.

The 1st few miles seemed to fly by. Before I knew it, I was already to mile 5 & feeling great! The cold & rain weren't bothering me that much & we kept passing all these people & cars going in the opposite direction who were all honking & waving & cheering us on. I was still with a fairly big pack of people & felt confident I could make it all the way. It also helped that the scenery was absolutely beautiful, even with all the rain & clouds. One of the best views was between mile 5 & 6 where we ran down a road directly towards the mountains. The clouds were low & the top of the mountains were peeking out through the top of the clouds. It was breathtaking. We ran towards the base of the mountain & before I knew it, I was at mile 7 & the beginning of the oil tank trails... 9 miles of unpaved, gravel & dirt roads that went up the mountain. By the end of the day, this section would be nick-named "The Trail of Tears". It was horrible!! By the time I got to this section, it had been raining for hours, so all the dirt had turned to a big mud pit. The 1st part of the trail wasn't so bad because it was mostly gravel, but as the road narrowed & we went into the forest, the mud just got worse. I couldn't run in it at all. My shoes were sticking in it & I was sliding a bit with every step. It didn't help that from mile 7 to mile 14 was all uphill. It was exhausting!

Around mile 8 I ran into a girl named Noha from Southern California. We got to talking & agreed to stick together as much as we could. Neither one of us wanted to be alone (I'd lost Carissa by mile 3 or 4) & needed the assurance of another person to continue on in this mess. We kept talking to each other about anything & everything... anything to keep our minds off the misery we were experiencing. I found out that she was a recent cancer survivor & a psychologist as well as personal fitness trainer. She gave me all sorts of good advice, both about exercise & my personal life. For the amount of time we spent together talking, I'm sure she could've made a pretty penny in psychological services! LOL! She was a real inspiration. She also kept making sure I was taking in enough food & fluids. When she noticed my swollen hands, she gave me some of her salt pills, which gave me a nice burst of energy within a few minutes. I was SO grateful I'd run into her & she said the same of me. We kept each other going.

At mile 9 I was looking for my coach. She said she'd be there to run with us, but she was nowhere in sight. I kept plugging along with Noha, certain I'd see Ginny at some point. By mile 11 or 12, I was really starting to get tired. Although the scenery was still amazing, I was SO fucking sick of walking in the mud & on all those fucking rocks & we just wanted a fucking paved surface. At one point we came to a very narrow bridge over a raging stream. It was only wide enough for 1 person at a time to go over & when you stepped on it, it shook. I think it was about that point that Noha & I said "we aren't running a marathon, we're in a fucking adventure race!" It felt like we were in some sort of eco-challenge race. We were just waiting for the check-point where we were supposed to start kayaking down the white water rapids. Haha! At another creek crossing, the water was almost over the tiny bridge we had to cross, & at another section, there wasn't even a bridge.... just about a 2 foot mud section over a sort of broken pipe with water rushing out of it. We honestly just had to laugh about it.

The hardest part of the Trail of Tears, at least for me, was mile 13. The last part of it was up a steep hill in the thick mud. It was hard to keep our footing, but once we got to the top of the hill, we knew we were 1/2 way done with the race. Noha & I stopped to take each other's picture at the 13 mile marker. We said "you realize if we'd done the 1/2 marathon, we'd be done by now!" but we still had 13 more miles to go. At least from then on, it was pretty much all downhill from there. We still had to get up to mile 14, but after that, we started going back down the mountain. I think it was around there that we came to a clearing in the forest. When we looked to our right, we could see straight down the mountain. It was quite an amazing sight. If I had any function left in my fingers, I would have taken a picture, but I couldn't even bend my fingers, let alone manage to unzip my camera bag & take a picture. All I wanted to do was get the hell off that mountain & on to the paved roads again.

At around mile 16, I had to make a pit stop at the port-a-potties. Noha took that time to rest her foot. (poor girl had broken it 1/2 way through her training, then broke it AGAIN around mile 6 of the race! But that wasn't going to stop her from finishing the race.) As I was in the port-a-pottie, I started to hallucinate. The walls of the port-a-pottie were moving like waves in the ocean & when I looked straight ahead, it was like I was traveling through a tunnel. It was the FREAKIEST thing ever!!! I had to close my eyes & try to concentrate on getting my head clear. It took me a while to even get out of that damn port-a-pottie because my hands & mind were just not functioning. My bib # was falling off & I couldn't figure out how to open the damn safety pins to fix it. Eventually I got everything straightened out & was back on the trail. Thank GOD by then we were back on paved roads & it was all downhill! Noha & I were SO happy!! We were finally able to RUN again!!! And run we did. We wanted to make up for some of the time we lost on those mud trails. I can't tell you how good running felt to my legs & ass. (Walking for miles on end without switching it up to running every once in a while to use different muscles HURTS!!!) We didn't even care that the temperatures had dropped & it was raining harder. It just felt so good to finally run again!

By this point, we were also lonely. There was no one else in sight... just the 2 of us... & it was taking its toll. I was upset I never saw Ginny earlier on & I was worried that I'd never see her. I'd told her before that my biggest fear was doing this alone, without the support of my coach. That had happened to my friend who ran the San Diego marathon a few weeks earlier & it crushed her to be so alone out there. And there in Alaska, with the weather so bad, there were no spectators out there, especially this far into the race. I needed some sort of outside encouragement. I knew that Janie, one of the TNT staff members, said she'd be at mile 17, but I wasn't sure if she'd still be there by the time I got there. Noha & I rounded a bend & started going uphill again when we saw someone in the distance running towards us. It was raining pretty hard & it was hard to see who it was, but I swore it looked like she had a Texas flag jacket on. Sure enough, it was Janie. I was SO happy to see her. She gave me a big hug & told me that one of my teammates, Chatna (who had broken her toe days before the race) was waiting in the SUV at mile 17 (just around the bend) & that my coach Ginny was there, too. I can't tell you how happy I was to hear that. Soon enough we rounded the bend & there was Ginny, wrapped up in a giant brown garbage bag. (Janie had said that Ginny started getting hypothermia & the EMT's wanted to take her off the course, but she refused. Instead she got the garbage bag to warm up & stuck around to see me.) Ginny came running up to me with her arms extended inside the garbage bag & said "give me a big ole garbage bag hug!" It was so funny & exactly what I needed. I was told that Chatna got as far as 4 miles w/ her broken toe & wheel chair before she was forced off the course by the officials. I saw her in the truck & gave her a big ole smile as she took my picture. Then I ran over to her & gave her a big wet hug & told her how proud I was of her for at least trying. The small group of TNT staffers there at mile 17 had candy & potato chips, which I wolfed down as fast I could. (They were the best damn potato chips I've ever had!!!)

Ginny then started to run with us & told us her story of hypothermia & arguing with the EMT's. She refused to leave the course. She kept telling them "Erin is still out there & I WILL NOT abandon her!" I know how miserable she felt, but the fact that she stayed for me meant SOOOO much to me. I know if she hadn't been there that I would have quit. But she was there for me, & she was cheery & full of inspiration. She kept me laughing & kept telling me how great I was doing. It was exactly what I needed. I was abso-fucking-lutely miserable out there. My legs were still fairly strong, but I was soaked to the core & my feet & back were starting to ache SO badly. I wanted to quit so badly, but at the same time, I wanted to finish. I HAD to finish. Around mile 18-19 was the next most miserable area... a sidewalk on the side of the road with cars 7& trucks rushing by us at about 60 mph splashing puddles on us. The winds were blowing so hard that it hurt my face. I wanted to be off that sidewalk more than I wanted to be off the Trail of Tears. Hell, I just wanted to be off that damn course & back in my hotel room! But I refused to give up. With each mile I hurt more & more, but I was also that much closer to the finish line. By the time I reached mile 20 I figured there was no turning back... no matter what, I was going to finish. It was at that point that Noha was losing it. She was in SO much pain with her foot, but she refused to give up. She was on the verge of tears with every step, as was I. Eventually I just broke down & started crying. I stopped myself, but every time I reached another mile marker, I'd stop to stretch my back & cry again. This happened with every mile marker after that. I had never been more miserable nor more determined. And man oh MAN was I ever cranky. Around mile 20-21 I announced "from here on in, I will likely be the biggest bitch you've ever met & I will cuss like a sailor!" Ginny & Noha said "well go on sister! We don't mind!"

Gotta love those girls.

The one thing that made me smile at that point was seeing the moose on the corner of the parking lot between mile 20 & 21. He was just a yearling, no antlers, but HUGE. He was simply hanging out on the corner munching on some bushes. Noha decided that was a good time to pee, so I stumbled with my hands & fingers & managed to get my camera out to take a photo. It didn't come out too great, but I got it before he got spooked & ran into the forest. After that, I was immediately back to the "bite me!" stage. Nothing anyone said or did could make me smile or laugh. I was so fucking cold & was being swarmed by mosquitos & I was irritated by everyone. But I was still so incredibly glad to have Ginny still by my side. She was my rock. I honestly don't know what I'd have done without her.

At mile 23 I had to pee again. Noha kept on going for fear that if she stopped now, she'd never finish... & I didn't blame her. It was SO hard for me to get back up & start walking again, but Ginny helped by carrying my fuel belt & camera bag for me the rest of the way. It was a huge weight lifted off me. Not long after that, I started to get my 2nd wind. My pace picked up & I wasn't hurting as bad. I knew I was so close to finishing. Finally I got to mile 24.... not much further now. We were in a nice park area & eventually came around to this gorgeous lake area with winding sidewalks & birds everywhere. Then I saw it in the distance... mile marker 25. This was it. The last part... only 1.2 miles left to go. All the TNT staffers were at the mile marker with their cow bells & noise makers & were cheering me on. It was the most amazing feeling... these girls had been waiting for me in the rain for hours. I got goose bumps & started to cry. I looked over at them & some of them were starting to cry as well. One of them reached over & patted my shoulder. It was a great boost for me.

I was almost there. I was almost home.

Right after mile marker 25, there was a woman standing alone on the side of the road. She had a big sign saying she was a cancer survivor & thanking the runners for doing what they were doing. We thanked her for coming out to cheer us on & she said "no, thank YOU! I'm alive because of what you do!" Of course, I cried yet again, but I quickly composed myself. "There will be plenty of time for that at the finish line!" said Ginny.

Suddenly in the distance we saw Coach Bill. I yelled out "it's about fucking time!!! Where the fuck have you been?" (he was supposed to meet us miles ago) to which he responded that he'd gotten stuck on Insult Hill with a whole bunch of runners. (Insult Hill is a very steep hill at the very last mile of the race. Not exactly something you want after running 25 miles.) Every time he'd take one runner up the hill, he'd run into more runners on the way back, all of whom asked him to run up Insult Hill with them. He'd done it 11 times. I was going to be his 12th & last time up that hill. He told me how proud he was of me & that he was more proud of me than anyone else on the team. Of course, this made me cry. (LOL... what didn't make me cry?) He & Ginny & Ally (one of the TNT staffers) walked me up Insult Hill (which oddly enough, I loved! It felt so good to use different muscles again!) to the home stretch. Ally was crying for me too, saying she'd been thinking of me out there & how proud she was of me. It felt so good to be surrounded by people who cared so much about me.

Just before we turned into the parking lot of the track stadium, Ginny & I stripped ourselves of our plastic garments & prepared for that final run to the finish. She said "I know coaches aren't supposed to cross the finish line, but fuck it! I am taking you in girl!" I couldn't have been happier to hear that! We turned into the parking lot & there was Janie & the other TNT staffer girls waiting for me, cheering me on. Then I saw it.... mile marker 26. Again... I cried. Only .2 miles to go. I was home free.

All the barricades & banners were completely blown away by the storms so there was no regalia or even a finish line sign to greet me as I entered the stadium, but there was a line of TNT girls yelling, screaming, cheering & calling out my name. As we got to the track, Bill said that it should be just me & Ginny crossing that line, since we'd been together for so long. He gave me a hug & a kiss & said "it's all you girl. You've earned this!" Ginny & I got on the track & the girls started cheering louder. I could feel wave after wave of emotion flowing over me. As we got to the straight-away on the track, I said to Ginny "let's go!" & we started to run. We passed Bill & the girls on the sidelines & they were screaming so loud. I could see the end of the straight-away, & the end of the race. I had a quick panic & said to Ginny "the finish line IS at the end of this straight-away, right?" (the finish line sign had blown down earlier in the day in all the wind & storms) & she assured me that it was. I kept on running, counting down the steps to the end. My legs were starting to burn, but I wasn't going to stop until I reached the end. I heard the announcer come over the PA & say something, but I had no idea what it was (I'd later find out that he was announcing my name). I was just concentrating on that finish line. I saw the photographer in the distance & I smiled a big stupid smile as he took my picture. Then I crossed the finish line.

I did it. I finished the marathon. 26.2 miles. It took me over 8-1/2 hours to do it, but dammit... I did it!

Ginny turned to me & gave me the biggest hug. I couldn't hold back my emotions any longer & I broke out into the biggest tears. I could not stop crying. I wanted to just collapse into a ball & cry like a baby, but I kept walking... still crying like a baby, but walking.

I walked to the finisher's area where they told me they needed to take my timing chip off my shoe. I couldn't even bend over to untie my shoe, so a woman did it for me. I couldn't even lift up my leg onto the bench... she had to do that for me as well. Ginny was handing me glass after glass of water & I was leaning on this unknown woman, trying not to fall down. After she got my chip off my shoe, I walked over some official looking man in a suit who gave me my medal for completing the marathon, then I walked to the TNT tent where they gave me my official 26.2 pin. I was still crying. Eventually Ginny & I made our way to the tables where my bag full of clothes & flip flops was located. Ginny had to take my shoes & socks off for me & my feet were so swollen that they barely fit in my flip flops. I could barely walk. My entire body ached & my legs felt like they had turned to jello. It took every ounce of strength I had to walk. Ginny sat me down on a curb while she went to find out where the shuttle busses were. While she did that, I called my sister Sheila in New York. I ran this race in memory of her husband, David. I had his picture pinned to the back of my jersey during the entire race. He watched over me as I ran. I told her how I finished & everything I had been through. She told me how proud she was of me & then her son Christopher got on & yelled "CONGRATULATIONS!!!" I was trying so hard not to cry. Sheila got back on & said was in the middle of putting Christopher to bed, so we didn't speak long. We didn't need to. We both knew what the other felt without saying a word.

I'd been trying for so long to try to find the words to express what this race meant to me & I finally came to the conclusion that there just are no words. All I can say is that I finally felt like I made a difference in this world. I finally felt like I had a purpose. The feelings I felt when I finished this marathon were unlike any feelings I have ever felt in my life. I don't think I will ever feel that same way again. I may run other races for TNT, but none will ever be able to match up to this experience. It may have been the most miserable day of my life, but it was also the proudest & most surreal moment of my life. Everyone should feel this feeling at least once in their life. It's the most amazing feeling in the world. I feel privileged to have been able to have had such an experience. This is something I will never forget for as long as I live.

Alaska weekend - Part I

This is going to take too long to do one post, so I decided to break it up in to sections. So here goes part I:

Thursday, June 16:

My mom dropped me off at the airport where I met up with the rest of my teammates. We all checked in together & got on the plane to Anchorage around 5:30. That was one LOOOOOOOOONG ass flight... about 7 hours. Someone said that a flight to London is only an hour longer. That's just crazy! I slept for a good portion of the flight, but when I wasn't sleeping, I was bored out of my mind. Thankfully, since we had over 50 people on the plane, it wasn't hard to find someone to talk to & help pass the time.

We landed in Anchorage around 9:00 pm. It was as bright at 9:00 pm in Alaska as it would be at 3:00 pm in Houston. CRAZY! We all boarded a bus to the Hotel Captain Cook. We checked in, got our room assignments & roommates, & dropped our stuff off in the room. Some people were tired enough to go to sleep, but I was wide awake. It was just after 11:00 pm & still bright as day out, so I went for a little walk & talked to my friend Kim on the phone for a while. Eventually I made it back to the hotel where my friend Adrienne had found the bar. Several of us hung out there until about 1:00 am, which is when I finally got tired. Coincidentally, it was at about that time that the sun FINALLY set. It was weird though, because it never got completely dark. It was just twilight... a deep dark blue sky with hints of purple & red at the horizon where the sun had "set".

I crawled into bed around 1:30 & crashed. I only woke up once around 4:30-5:00 am & that was because the sun was rising & the room had this deep orange glow from the light coming through the crack in the curtains. I simply rolled over & went back to sleep.

Friday, June 17:

My roommate, Miranda & I woke up around 8:30, showered & headed downstairs to the lobby at 9:30 to meet the rest of the team. We then all walked the 12 blocks to the Sheraton where the marathon expo was held so we could pick up our bib #'s & timing chips. There were all sorts of tables set up with all sorts of running goodies to buy, as well as info about Alaska & the area. I ended up buying a pair of nifty sunglasses & some cool running socks. They have "26.2" written all over them. I love them! Originally I was going to wear them during the marathon, but I decided instead that I wouldn't wear them until after I actually completed the race. After checking out all the merch. tables, my friend Adrienne & I had our picture taken with a guy in a giant moose suit. It was pretty silly & just the beginning of our moose-filled weekend. We then gathered up Adrienne's mom (we all called her "Mommy" for the weekend. She was the BEST!), & our teammates Kevin & Marcia & decided what to do for the day. We'd heard about all the giant salmon fishing that was going on, so Kevin drove us to the river & dropped us off (he was going to visit his sister). We walked around & finally met up with a bunch of our other teammates on the bridge overlooking all the fishermen. We watched as they tried to catch the giant salmon. I've never seen such HUGE fish in all my life. It was bizarre!

After watching the fish, we all decided to walk back to downtown & grab a bite to eat. We had a super yummy lunch, followed by a walk in the town square park where they were having a summer solstice festival. It wasn't too exciting, so we just walked around downtown Anchorage & did some shopping. It was such a beautiful day with absolutely perfect weather. It was nice to just stroll around town w/ my friends. We laughed SO much. After lots of shopping & general silliness, eventually we made our way to a pub where we sat out on the deck overlooking the water & had a few drinks (I skipped the beer & had just water). Then we walked back to the hotel. Some people went to take a nap, but Adrienne, her mom & I went back to her suite & decorated our TNT singlets. They came out SO cute. (side note: everywhere I went this weekend, people commented on my purple hair. It was hilarious! By the end of the weekend, I was the most popular "tourist" in Anchorage!)

By the time we finished our shirts, it was time to head to the pasta party. A group of us all walked over together. As we neared the venue, we could hear the cheering & screaming of all the TNT people. When we finally got to the front door, there we saw our 2 coaches holding open the doors for everyone & yelling & cheering, followed by a line of TNT staffers on each side, all with noise makers, funny hats, & megaphones, & all cheering & yelling as each team member walked in. It was quite a sight to see & gave me a chill & a lump in my throat as I walked in. I was surprised by how many people were there. In all, we had 1330 TNT members running in the marathon. The dinner was ok (basic pasta & sauce w/ a tiny salad, so-so rolls, & big cookies for dessert) but it was nice to see so many people there for such a good cause. There were various speakers from TNT with the main one... a guy nicknamed "The Penguin" was pretty damn funny. He gave a great speech about the various stages of running a marathon & I'll be damned if he wasn't right on the nose about everything (particularly the "bite me stage"). The killer speech was given by a woman whose husband died of Leukemia a mere 6 months after diagnosis. It was a heart wrenching story about how they spent their last days together & how with the help of the LLS, he was able to live long enough to write letters to his daughter for all the big occasions in her life that he would miss... birthdays & holidays, her high school graduation, prom night, wedding day, etc. She then went on to say that she had his ashes separated into 3 urns, to be scattered in his home town, in the town they lived now & some place else that I can't remember. She said she'd only spread his ashes in his home town but couldn't bring herself to let go of the rest. When she heard about the marathon in Alaska, she remembered that Alaska was one of those places she & her husband had never been to, but always said they'd go to "some day". A friend told her "he's already been to Alaska" & informed her that when she ran the marathon the previous year, he was there with her because she ran in his memory. That's when she decided to run the marathon herself this year & to scatter his ashes in Alaska. After her story, there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

The other amazing thing about that night was seeing all the cancer survivors who were there to run, including my friend Marcia. Thanks to a bone marrow transplant 9 years ago, she was able to survive Leukemia. She is now a bone marrow transplant nurse at MD Anderson here in Houston. She told me that the research done by the LLS helped find a drug that helped keep her alive long enough to have her transplant. Proof positive that what we do helps save lives. I was even more glad I made the decision to do this race & raise that money. The Houston/TX Gulf Coast Chapter of TNT had 48 runners in this race & we raised $260,000 for the LLS. All together, TNT had 1330 runners in the race, all of whom raised $5.5 million!!!! How amazing is that??? It gave me chills just hearing that. And that's just for one race! And the Alaska marathon is a small race in comparison to others. In the last year alone, we raised almost $100 million. That just blows my mind!!

After the dinner, we all walked back to the hotel where we had a team meeting & shirt decorating party. It was nice to be together with all my teammates one last time before the race to get fired up for everything. It was also fun to see all the ways everyone decorated their shirts. Everyone had the names of their honored patients & the names of people who have died on their shirts. Everyone has been so touched by these cancers. It's so sad. But it makes everything we've gone through so much more worth it.

After the decorating party, I went back to my room & set all my running gear out for the next morning. I was so jazzed for the race the next day that it was hard for me to get to sleep. I just wanted to get out there & finish that race.

Next up... race day!

The home stretch...

Well, it's almost over... less than one week to go. I know I keep saying this, but where did all the time go?

Friday night I had a fundraiser at Cold Stone with a couple of the girls from my team. Erica & I worked behind the counter, scooping up ice cream, while Adrienne & Chatna handed out flyers to anyone & everyone outside. Unfortunately, it was a slow night & we didn't make much money, but we had fun. Afterwards we went out to dinner & had a great time. Tomorrow is our last fundraiser... a crawfish boil. It should be a lot of fun. (Thankfully I have almost all of my money now, so I'm not really worried about how much money we raise.)

And then there was today.

Today was our last practice. We were only going 6 miles, so we started a lot later than usual... at 6:45. It went great. I was a little sluggish at first because I was so tired from being out late w/ the girls last night, but eventually my endorphins kicked in & I felt great. I finally figured out a way to regulate my breathing & was able to run for a much longer distance. I was SO happy about this, cuz this will definitely help me make up time. I finished the 6 miles in about an hour & 20 minutes!

As I was running along the track (a 3 mile gravel loop around the park), I kept seeing the new batch of TNT members running in the opposite direction. This was maybe their 3rd practice of the season. It was sort of like looking back in time... back to 4-1/2 months ago when I was 1st starting out... seeing them struggling to run, looking so tired after only about 2 miles. I remember that feeling... wondering "what the hell was I thinking? I can't do this!"

And look at me now... about to run 26.2 miles!!!

I can hardly believe it!

As each person passed me by, I smiled a little more & felt a little stronger. I wanted to stop & tell them all not to worry, that it would get easier, that this was one of the best things they ever could have done, & that it will be SO worth all the pain, sweat & tears.

After practice, about a dozen of us went to breakfast together one last time. One of the teammates busted out a bottle of champagne & made peach mimosas for everyone. We raised our glass & toasted to the end of the season & to Alaska. Sitting at that table, I realized what an incredible group of people I had before me. I thought back to all those days out on the trail & how much they helped me & everything we've all been through together & I almost started to cry. I felt that huge lump in my throat & I had to force myself to think of something else.

3 of the coaches had to leave early, but the rest of us hung out for a while on the deck. The last coach to leave was Bill... the granddaddy of all coaches & one who wont't coming back to coach next season. He & his wife pulled up next to the deck in Bill's brand new candy apple red Corvette convertable. We yelled at him to put the top down, which he did, then snapped a few photos. We yelled, screamed, cheered & waved as he turned the corner & peeled down the road (as per our request) & drove off into the horizon. It was a fitting good-bye for ole Bill.

Soon we were joined by 3 of the "newbies" who had just finished their practice. We explained to them that we fully expected them to keep on with the tradition of the post-practice Saturday breakfast... that we were "passing the torch". It was a sweet, funny moment. We left them to finish their breakfast & we all parted ways. It was weird... even tho I know I'll see some of them tomorrow & again in Alaska, it was still a sad moment. This was it... the last day.

This has been the most incredible, not to mention hardest, thing I've ever done in my life. And ya know what? I'd do it all over again in a heart beat. In fact, I'm planning on doing just that. We were already deciding what races we want to do next time around. But for now, I just can't wait to get to Alaska!!!

Tapering down

Practice on Saturday went well. We're taping down in preparation for the marathon, so we only did 14 miles. Even though it was a much shorter run, Lydia & I still decided to get to the park at 5:00 am because we knew that once that sun came up, it would be hellaciously hot outside. Even at 5:00 am it was SOOOOOO friggin' humid. I hadn't even began to run & I was already covered in sweat. (I hate, hate, HATE Houston in the summer time.)

Our route was through downtown. It was nice to kinda have things come full circle. This was one of our 1st routes when we started on the really long distances & it had been quite a while since we'd done it. I'd forgotten what a nice course it was. By the time we started getting near down town, the sun was rising & gave the skyscrapers a beautiful pinky-orange glow. I always love running through downtown just as the city is starting to wake up.

I was feeling much stronger this week as opposed to last week. The heat was still practically unbearable, but it helped knowing that I didn't have much further to go. The worst part of it was the fact that I still got horrible hives. They were actually worse than the previous week & by the time I got home & showered, my legs felt like they were on fire. I just have to keep reminding myself that there's only 1 more week of training in this nasty heat.

Wow. Only 1 more week. Where did the time go?

I was reading some of my 1st entries in this blog & I am amazed at how far I've come. At one point I couldn't believe that I'd gone 6 miles. 6 miles! That is a nothing to me now. That's a piece of cake! In less that 2 weeks I will be going 26.2.

I can't wait!